This week has been a week of lesson learning for me! I have found myself so burden with trying to be patient and listen to God. I have also found myself really struggling with being patient with people! But, this morning I found myself hearing God loud and clear while I was running. I love my time running each morning. It is a time where I disconnect from the world and spend time, just me and God. It is wonderful. Let me share the hard lessons I have learned this week.
As I have been studying Nehemiah, I have been learning. But those lesson had to become personal before I "Got It"! I have realized two things about me. 1. I have a very good ability to see and assess the needs of an organization. 2. I have no patience in watching that organization realize its own needs! So I have found myself struggling with the needs inside my own ministry. I see the things we must have and do. All the while I am waiting on the others to see it as well. More than that, I am trying to wait on the ones that see the same thing get up and start moving forward. What I have learned in my study from Nehemiah, is that I need to be in prayer and wait on God! NOT EASY!!!!!! But, He reminded me of that today.
In the last few days I was presented again with the harsh hand of persecution. Some individuals from a few years back have decided to exemplify my past mistakes (if you want details, just ask!) in order to nullify my leadership. I have no idea the motive for this. I have worked hard to seek restoration and reconciliation with these men. But, I am learning that God may not deliver that miracle in my life. I also found myself very angry from this. So, yesterday I was plotting my revenge! But, today God reminded me He is in control and vengeance is His. So I started praying like David; that God would take care of my enemies. But, I prayed that he would restore their hearts to love and grace. We will see what He does, as I learn patience here.
Finally,I have found myself his week realizing that I have to make some very bold leadership moves. I am anxious over what this means for me and my ministry. I know it is what God wants, I just know that it is not what a ton people want. So, I have been consumed by the thoughts about it. But, God brought me to Philippians 4:6 this morning which says, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." So, I am putting this into practice. I think another thing I learned from my study in Nehemiah is the need to start in prayer. If we do not start and leave everything in prayer, we are in trouble. It has been a hard week, but a good week. I have learned a lot and can't wait to see all God is going to do.