Just being transparent....But I often feel VERY inadequate. I feel inadequate as a husband, father, leader and pastor. Nobody sees my flaws and shortcomings better than I do when I look in the mirror. I know what needs to improve in me and what needs to be eliminated. I know my weaknesses and there are many. I work very hard to be "self aware", which is a good thing. But, often I am so "self aware" that I fail to see what God sees. He sees potential, even when I don't.
I often times find myself arguing with God that He should have chosen someone else to do the things He has asked me to do. I feel inadequate to be the husband of an amazing, hard working and beautiful woman. I feel incapable of being a great father to my five children. I certainly don't feel qualified and capable to be a pastor, much less be a church planter. Afterall, I'm just a plain and simple guy. I don't have amazing skills and talents. I don't have a major education. I don't have the "right" ingedients for success. I'm just me....But for some reason God keeps calling me!
Today I was reading through Exodus and was reading the story of Moses. God used an ordinary guy to do some incredible stuff. Moses was an orphan. He was a murderer. He was a refugee. And, he was a simple shepherd. But, God chose to use him to lead an entire nation out of slavery and towards God's Promised Land.
From the moment God began to speak, Moses was making excuses. Moses was trying to tell God He was not good enough. He tried telling God that He was not adequate. But, God kept telling Moses he was adequate. For example:
Moses raised another objection to God: "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer." God said, "And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn't it I, God? So, get going. I'll be right there with you-with your mouth! I'll be right there to teach you what to say." Exodus 4:10-12
The key is that God knew he would be able to do all of these things because God would be with him. Moses was so focused on his own abilities and weaknesses, He didn't notice that God's abilities and strengths are what made him able. It would be God with Moses and God through Moses that made him able. When Moses chose to trust that, and live in it, God used him fro great things.
I know that I am in no way able to do the very thigns God has ask of me. But, I am learning each that it is God in me and God through me that makes it possible. That's why God stands in the gap for me. God can do great things through people, He just needs someone willing to do allow Him to do the work through them.
The same is true for you. When we are feeling inadequate....We need to allow God to work in us and through us to make us able!