Let's be honest, there are just certain subjects that you and I are ignorant about. It is simply impossible to have enough knowledge, experience or understanding to overcome this. But, doesn't it drive you crazy when you encounter stupid questions? YES? Me Too.
As an adoptive family, we encounter this a lot in regards to adoption. Although I understand that lots of people don't understand adoption, I am still amazed every time I get a crazy question that comes from complete ignorance.
This last year when Allison and I were hosting a garage sale, one of our patrons struck up a conversation. She noticed Kaia helping us, Karis was not home from Haiti yet, and realized she was our daughter. Obviously Kaia being African and us being pasty, pale and white caught her attention! So she started asking lots of questions. We are used to this after 5 years! But, all of the sudden she dropped the BIG one.... right in front of Kaia!
Can you actually love her like she is one of your kids?
WHAT? I was speechless. (Well, for a few seconds anyway. I am never without words.) Of course, I can love her like she is one of my kids; because she is! But, she asked that in front of my daughter. I was stunned!
But, after a moment, I realized, she simply does not understand adoption. Not everyone can comprehend adoption. Not everyone can grasp the idea of bringing a child into your home that isn't born from you; much less of another color, nationality or culture. That is just reality.
I took a few minutes to explain our passion for adoption and our love for our kids. And, she was pleased, excited and very intrigued by the things we shared with her.
There are a ton of CRAZY questions people ask adoptive families, such as:
- Was your kid Expensive?
- my answer, What kid isn't? My kids all suck my money dry!
- How much did he/she cost?
- my answer, More than yours!
- How did you pick which kid to adopt?
- my answer, From a large catalog of kids, in the clearance section!
- Are you sure you picked the right child?
- my answer, Oh crap..... maybe I didn't! Maybe Ethiopia and Haiti have a return or exchange policy!
If you're an adoptive parent, or plan to be... you will encounter crazy, ignorant questions! Next time it happens, RELAX! Take a few minutes and share your heart. Help others understand adoption a little bit more. After all, we have something beautiful to share with the world.